men. :(

some men suck big time
some men rock a lot
and the ones that are worst of all are the ones that refuse to realize that things could really work out for them.
don't ask. i'm not telling. i just know that i'm not happy right now. i'm sad, and hurt, and wishing i were confused cuz then things would be easier. i could blame whatever it is i'm feeling on the "not knowing". sadly, that's not the case.
it's not every day you can have a real connection w/someone, someone you can talk to about anything. someone you've talked to about everything.
but to experience that and to hear that person say, "it's not gonna work out between us...i'd rather we just stay friends then try this thing out..."
it's simply devastating.
its excruciatingly frustrating.
it makes me want to cry and scream and then cry some more. or eat a pint of ice cream.
right now, i think i'll just go for the crying bit. (can't really scream w/o waking the neighbor).
so yeah...some men are great, but suck a bunch because they let you know how great they are and then take all that away from you.
sick thing is, i couldn't imagine life in any form without them. so if it kills me to remain friends and friends only, i will.
i'd rather some men just wake up and realize that it's a small world and distance is only as short or long as you let it be.

what do i know? i know that at the current rate of my life, i will end up an old maid. stuck in a job i despise, by myself. i won't end up the crazy cat lady simply because i won't have the patience for the cats. normally this doesn't bother me. tonight this bothers me a whole lot. things could be different. but i dont know how to make them different, make them work in my favor.

stupid stinking rotten men.

ugh.