Normally, those three things wouldn't ever fit into the same sentence. Nor would these things: my seesters, Ale, my geo metro, and myself from like 8th grade.
So what do my bank card, my pap-pap, dancing, my seesters, Ale, my geo metro, Mexico, and the 8th grade version of myself have in common? I am missing them.
I have no clue where i've put my bank card. It is quite frustrating when you have no way of getting money for gas or food on the weekend. I think it is in my car. Buuuuutttttt, if any of you have seen my car lately, you would understand why i can't find it in there. It is absolutely awful.
I miss my geo metro. That was the best car. Period. Best on gas, best to drive, just the best.
Ale and Mexico are sort of in the same category, but not quite. I miss Ale, regardless of where she finds herself. We are sisters, her and I, and being separated for too long can be quite painful.
I miss Mexico because it is my home. I will always be at home in New Castle, because i was raised here, because my family is here, my friends are here. But i never feel truly at home anywhere other than Mexico.
I miss my pap-pap simply because he isn't here. I sometimes find myself at his grave, talking to myself, because all that is there is a bag of bones. He's in heaven, and i don't believe in actually talking to the dead. So i go sometimes to think out loud. I don't often do this, nor when i do, do i get things resolved. But it helps to think that i have said my thoughts, and someone actually listened. Of course i know that also happens through prayer, but idk, its just different. i wish he were here to see things happening. like Megan's and Matt's weddings, Mike and Sharr's kids, etc.
I miss my seesters for the simple fact that they are growing up and i am not there with them to be a part of their every day lives. That makes me sad, but it is a part of life i am afraid. It makes me cherish the time i do get with them, but i wish the time was more.
I miss dancing because it brings me pure joy. I know many of my church friends would not approve of dancing the tango or mambo, but the fact that i'm going to dance studios to do this and not clubs should be ok. I see no problem with dancing. I miss the effects it has on my body, on my mind. I lost a lot of weight doing nothing but dancing a few times a week. And all that physical stimulation helps oxygen flow to the brain, helping me think. I am very rusty and out of shape where dancing is concerned and that saddens me.
and lastly, I miss the 8th grade version of myself. I was madly in love with God, I had money from my summer job and no bills. I liked a guy who i think and will always believe, liked me back. I had my best friends to hang out with every weekend. The only part of that time in my life i don't miss is my parents' relationship. They fought a lot during that time. Other than that, my life was golden back then.
I'm glad i can look at these things i miss and appreciate them, not only when i'm missing them, but when they are near me (as in the case of my sisters).
I'm out :D
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment