run run run, never get anything done...

So, I have been a running machine for what feels like an eternity. I'm in class in butler and cranberry Pa. I still work in new castle, and now I'm back into ballroom dancing (oh how i've missed it) in cleveland, oh.
Why all the running? because if I don't get out of this new castle slump that affects everyone who lives here i will end up going crazy.
I'm most excited to tell you all about the ballroom dancing. This past friday, I went (by myself, of course), to Cleveland, OH and was greeted by a bunch of super nice, middle aged people. I had a blast. I foxtrotted, waltzed, cha-cha'd, rumbaa'd, salsa'd, swung, and hustled. Throw in a few line dances and my night was complete. I did not tango, which is something i know how to do (i could do all of them but the hustle before I went), but maybe this friday i'll tango.
One thing I will most definitely have to invest in are some real dance shoes cuz all my heels are sort of stretched out.
Seriously though, I have missed dancing so so so much.
Even with all this running like crazy, I still feel like I'm not truly accomplishing anything. Oh well, I guess you win some, you lose some.

feelings

To say i'm not really a communicator would be an understatement. I hate talking about myself and therefore will do everything in my power to get out of talking about me.
sometimes however, i really wish i could just explain to ppl how i truly feel. take tonight for instance. i so badly wanted to tell somebody, anybody, just how lonely i felt. i know having a significant other in my life won't make me a "whole" person, but sometimes it sure feels that way.
i would love to find love. i know we all want that, but goodness i haven't even had "like". ever. as in no one likes me, and sometimes i feel like no one ever will. while i am pretty good with me being single for the rest of my life most of the time, tonight i just wanted to go home to somebody. but alas, i came home to an empty apartment. maybe one day my prince charming will come, but i wish that day were today...
im done now.
see ya'll in a while...
mandy

new beginnings for this old gal.

i.
am.
old.

or at least thats what i feel like when i see all these fresh out of highschool faces as i'm going to class.
So far, class has been easy peasy lemon squeezie but i am sure it will get harder as the semester goes on.
at least that's what im hoping for. I never have been one to do busy work or do well in classes below my iq level lol.
anyways, i will be all over the map, cranberry, butler, new castle. ok not as far over the map as i would like (aka greece or turkey) but it's a start, and it will get my butt moving past just neca.

anyways i gotta go study.... :)

bucket list.

after watching that movie i made one of my own...i'll be adding to it as time goes on...

travel the world. and yes i mean the WORLD. no i don't have a specific one place destination in mind. i wanna see it all

take a cooking class at le cordon bleu in paris like julia child.

be in a dancing competition. even if it's a city wide competition...

learn a few other languages...including but not limited to: italian (working on that), greek (working on that too), french, portuguese, hindi, and chinese (if i added all the languages i wanna learn i'd be here all day)

kiss a complete stranger. there's something oddly romantic id like to try.

set up a rendezvous point for me and my husband, and treat him like an "affair"...something to keep the mystery alive, which keeps the romance going :)

which brings me to this: find a husband :D

im out for now but i'll be here adding to this later

letters to juliet....it got me thinking

so i've seen this movie 2x now, and it's pretty good. the only major flaw i can see is this:

these romantic comedies, or any movie that isn't horror/sci-fi is unattainable to the average person. don't get me wrong, the basic plots can and probably do happen...to people who don't live in small towns/little cities like new castle or boardman.

these movies get the hopes of all us single girls up. we hope and think and wait for these moments, these opportunities to happen to us.

but let's be honest about this, shall we?
my life is nothing like the girls on these movies.

if i'm trying to apply this (or any romantic comedy) to my life, let's see how i compare to the starlets of these movies.

>>>these girls work at a job with a big company/law firm, much more glamorous than mine.

>>>i work at a small hospital in housekeeping, i basically am a poop cleaner.

>>>these girls live in major cities, with plenty of diversity and options for places to go from restaurants and movies to grocery stores and dancing.

>>>i live in a small town, with the biggest culture diversity is italian and arabic/syrian. we have plenty of places to eat, considering thats basically our only "out on the town" option, we have one movie theater which does play 8 movies at once but still...and we have several decent groceries but walmart is usually the cheapest option. and dancing? there's several ballet/dance companies or the hoyt but all are over priced.

>>>because of the high paying jobs, these girls have great apartments and can travel via company's expense or can just afford it on their own, thanks to said jobs. or some start off in other countries which indicates they had money to begin with.

>>>because i work in housekeeping at a small hospital in a small town, my pay is average if nothing else. i live with my parents because the only apartments worth looking at are way out of reach financially. and while i do travel, i have to limit my travelling to every other year at best, and my location is limited to mexico or canada. and while i love love love love love love mexico, i want to see europe. i want to broaden my horizons.

>>>the girls in these movies have boyfriends, husbands, even just guy friends. why? because of the previously aforementioned places to go. there are more men in these cities, more options of meeting these men.

>>>i. am. single. the only guy friends i have are married, and the only places i can go to meet them are the movies, but lets be honest...who in the world meets a guy while in the movies? and what movies would i have to be watching to meet these guys? i also go to walmart...again, what sort of man will i be attracting when im shopping after 8 hours of working or going in sweats? work, but i don't know any men that aren't already married or in committed relationships, and i go to church, but trust me when i say, there are absolutely no options at church.

>>>finally, these girls while in reality are real (they aren't just figments of our imaginations) but their characters are not. their bad days are either slapstick funny or just not likely. even the more realistic ones (ie alexis bledel in post grad) which might be really down on their luck, aren't as realistic as real life.

>>>i am not a fake character in a movie, although sometimes i wish i were. my bad days are usually more felt than perceived, and while i may fall down a lot, it's really not funny when it's you who is the one that is smashing yourself always.


ive said all this to end up saying that basically, and unfortunately, unless i move to a larger city (even pittsburgh would work i think), and land a fantastic job (in this stinky economy), my life is going to end quite predictably much like these movies. i may end up marrying someone down the road (which at my current rate, i don't see happening), and i will more than likely stay at the hospital until it kills me. anyways, i gotta get off here and sleep...i gotta be at work in 5 hours.

it's just like my g-sal always says...what a pity i was born with such good looks rather than being rich...