...???...

Well, I started reading Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice Saturday. While I love the plot, the language is fairly easy after reading the Bronte sisters. Just sayin'. The weather is fairly warm, rainy, but warm. Of course that's going to change at some point tonight and turn into cold, snowy, but cold :( I am out right sick of this snow. but what can I do? I am going on a diet...more to follow later. Gotta get back to my resume, I'm applying for a new job....so keep all your virtual thumbs out there crossed :) Mandy

Rats among us...

It appears that one, or all of my sisters have been reading my blog. Which sister(s) it is, I do not know, but that would be how my mother knew I had been to Ottawa for a day. I would like to say to all my non-related readers, if you feel the need to spy on your relatives, don't. chances are, they're not doing anything "spy worthy" anyways, and probably just value their own privacy a little too much. I realize this is an entirely public blog, however...To my sisters: if you have been reading this, why not bother commenting when I ask for some feedback? because you are snooping into what you think i feel is my own private outlet. well, thank you. I will no longer use this blog as i have been, simply because you decided you needed to be nosey and couldn't mind your own business. I was angry (which you should have picked up from the blog i wrote about it) that you opened my mail. Not only is that entirely too intrusive, it's also illegal. I love you my seesters, but you need to learn to honor my privacy. I have a feeling it's Desi, which in that case, I am highly disappointed in you. If i felt the need to tell you something, or the need to leave something be, it's to my own discretion. Instead, you have the nerve, nay, the audacity to read my blog, and then run home and tell mum and dad everything. I have nothing to hide, I simply have nothing to tell either. When i do feel something is noteworthy, I will tell the family, in my own time and way. At any rate, you non-related readers will probably not miss my random rants and incredibly long posts. I however shall miss writing them, but as there is no place I can "go" to feel "heard" without having to worry about my family always reading it, this will be the last post of my usual kind. Orvoir to the freedom of total anonymity... Mandy

Ottawa...

So, I spent a day in Ottawa. I don't know how to write what I'm feeling...which is a first for me. I am very, very happy. On cloud 9 for sure. we shall see, we shall see. anyways, getting ready for work. miss my friends. my family. I shall see them this week though, so it's all good! guess that's all for now folks. Mandy

Twitterpated...with a season?!?!

Happy First Day of Spring!!!
The weather forecast for this area for the week: snow showers :(
however, I see buds on the trees, flowers popping up, grass turning green. The hint of rain is in the air, both in feeling and in smell. The world smells cleaner and new. One of the many reasons I love this season. If only Spring, Summer, and Fall could last as long as this winter has felt, I'd be a happy, happy girl. (This winter was cold and damp, and starting around Thanksgiving. Our first actual snowfall was on December 1, 2010 and it snowed every day for over a month.)
I am ready for Spring. Ready to help put in a garden. Ready to spring clean my house (I've already started). Ready to sit out on my parents' patio, or even on my steps and soak in the sun. Ready to walk in this small crummy city, and especially in my own little neighborhood.
I am in love with the warm undertones the wind is carrying with it. I am in love with the blue, blue sky, and the green, very green grass. I am in love with the sound of cicadas and frogs as they call to their mates. I am in love with opening my windows at home, and let the fresh air replace the stale stuff from winter. I am in love with Spring this year.
AAAAAAH
ok. i'm done now!
Off to talk to some boy ;)

Jane Eyre: Charlotte Bronte.

I figured since my last post couldn't really count as a book review (although I did mention it) I would do a proper criticism on this acclaimed piece.
Charlotte Bronte was simply brilliant. She, as an author, is an inspiration to all. Especially those who have found their calling in the form of pen and paper.
I found this book thrilling. Its many twists and turns not only leave the reader inquisitive enough to read further, but guessing until the end. It is not intended to be a mystery. Which is why it's such a precocious read.
The heartache and joy felt by the reader in empathy with the heroine are physical reminders that words can cut to the quick, can be as descriptive and able to bring us full knowledge and feeling of any such person. Jane is not only a likeable character, she is, by far, a friend to any reader who has ever felt so misunderstood as to feel injustice per misunderstanding.
As a teen age girl, I didn't care for this style of writing for I felt it unecessary to include the look and touch and smell and taste of everything but having gone a considerable amount of time without using my TV (even if just for movies. I do not have an HD box and am not buying that nor cable and therefore do not have any channels whatsoever), I now fully appreciate that fact.
For this reason, I want to say: "thank you sincerely Miss Bronte, for having described it all that I might feel I have been to Thornfield Hall myself".

Ok, now off to facebooking I go! :)

Long time bloggers, long time indeed.

Boy have I missed the world of blogging! I was working crazy hours but things have slowed down for me since I quit the 2nd job. That's right folks, i up and quit after only 5.5 weeks!! I did not handle myself well, and would have handled myself worse had I quit in a "mature fashion". How did I do it? I sent Emily a text message stating that i was not only not coming in that day, but never coming back. I told her that it was nothing she or her daughter had done (slight falsehood) but that I wasn't getting enough rest (true) and not taking care of myself the way I should (very true! I am now finishing up meds for a UTI). I have not worked there in a week, and I do not miss it one teensy tiny bit.
She had the nerve to complain about me getting paid for 20 hours and not working 20 hours each week. I had told her not to pay me for that time, when she was making out the hours. She actually had the nerve to suggest that I give her daughter the money of the hours I didn't come in since "she will have to do what you're not here to do". By that point my fate, for that job at least, was sealed. Let me explain:
Her daughter, at 12, would not do what most normal, sane people consider chores. She does not wash dishes, clean up her mess in the bathroom, clean her room, do a load of laundry, run the vacuum, take out the trash, feed AND water the dog (i got her to feed him, but she would not give him fresh water) nor take him out to potty, put her clean laundry away, or help with the cooking. I am not saying i expected her to do all of those things, all the time. However, over the weekends when I was not there, dishes should have been washed and put away, a load of laundry could have been thrown in the washer, the vacuum could have been run, etc. Nothing too strenuous or difficult. Her mother did not require her to do anything, and since she had help coming (and has had this help for quite some time) her daughter is a Low-Middle Class "Prima-Donna" expecting to be treated as a princess, with little or no responsibility for her own life and actions. I didn't buy into that idea, and throughout the week, when i was there, I made her put her laundry away, take out the trash, sort the dirty clothes etc. Again, nothing too strenuous. She is 12. She should be able to handle those simple tasks. It would be different if she were very involved with things at school. If she got straight As, or was involved with some extra-curricular something. None of those things apply, especially the straight A thing (she's failing nearly every class).
So being asked to hand over a portion of my hard earned money because I hadn't met the "time requirement" for the week to a girl who did nothing around the house except be waited on hand and foot was to me, revolting. The very notion insulted my sense of humanity.
Also, the woman was impossible to please. IMPOSSIBLE!!!! She wanted dry, dry turkey meat from the deli. I bought her dry, dry turkey (as dry as they had) and "the stuff at Tic-Toc up the street is better" (for all those out of the USA or not from the OH-PA region, Tic-Tocs are your usual "corner store" convenient stores. Over priced junk food and the occasional hot food item, some stores specialize in certain hot foods (pizza, hot dogs, etc) and are occasionally a part of gas stations). So I bought her the turkey from Tic-Toc. She liked that even less, and actually made me return it. On another occasion, she wanted me to "peel a few potatoes" for a soup she was going to make the next day. I said I didn't mind, and she then proceeded to tell me which bowl to fill up ( a mid-sized mixing bowl). When i requested help from her daughter, who is a "Prima-Donna" after all, she whined "I don't want to learn how to peel potatoes" and Emily said, "she's too tired to help". When I went in and asked how the soup was, i was told, "it was ok, but there were too many potatoes, that's alright, you'll do better next time" I very nearly jumped across the table, took her tongue from her mouth, wrapped said tongue around her neck, and strung her from the ceiling.
So when I sent her a text, declaring I was through with her, it was to save me from nearly killing the woman.
After a little over a month of only having 2 days off total in that entire span, spending over $200 in gas to go nowhere except home and both jobs, working 15+ hour days 5 days a week, and getting a UTI (urinary tract infection. very, very painful. especially since i didn't have any normal syptoms such as burning while using the loo...i'm thinking I had the infection at least 3 weeks) from not taking care of myself the way I should have, I quit.
Now i'd like to explain why the daughter doing nothing frustrates me so. Growing up, I have always had chores. At the age of 7, we started doing dishes. In the 2nd grade, I started washing my own laundry because I had a bad habit of throwing clean clothes in with the dirty. So essentially, by the age of 8 and 1/2 I was sufficient in cleaning up after myself. By the age of 12, I could do everything i can now, with the exception of cooking. I don't think any person can actually cook until forced to do so, aka moving away from home. I was active in church and with my homeschool group. I got good grades, and was able to sew, iron clothes, and clean efficiently. I helped make food, just never a whole meal. Plus I helped out with childcare, as I am the oldest of 4 girls in my family. I also know what it's like to have to get up and take care of animals. We grew up with cows, pigs, and chickens (although never at the same time) and had to take care of them (along with our dogs and cats). We also had to do yard and garden work. Don't get me wrong, I was not by any means abused or mistreated by being forced to do some (or most) of those things against my will. I am a much more mature adult, especially one from my generation, because I know how to do those things.
On top of all these things, I could not help but compare this girl with my own sisters, especially the younger two. They are increasingly active at school (choir, honors chorus, big sister mentoring program (as a big sister themselves, not as a little sister) student council, the musical, NHS, Spanish club, Drama club, Youth Alive, Track, Cross Country, to name a few) they get stellar grades (one sister has over a 4.3 GPA), are extremely active in our youth group at church, and they have chores. They're required to do a week of dishes, a week of garbage detail, and a week of taking care of the dog. Plus they do laundry when necessary, clean their bathroom, and take care of their rooms.
If anyone deserves a break from chores, it's them. Not the 12 year old who is too lazy to get off the computer to let the dog back in the house in the midst of a blizzard from going potty while i bathed her mother. She needs chores and set regular ones at that, with timed expectations to acheive a sense of responsiblity. I wanted to set that up for her but I knew they would not be enforced when i was not there.

Oh well. In other news: I read Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre in a total of 3.5 days. May I just say, it was AMAZING!!! I have never read it before, and plan on reading it again. I cannot give any of it away, but the you-know-what secret of Mr. Rochester was never forseen on my part. I thoroughly enjoyed it's descriptive nature and love the rhythm of both Bronte sisters' writing. I felt sorrow through much of it, but true happiness at the outcome of this book, and encourage you to read it!

Upon reading this first post of my 2 week separation, I have concluded that it is sufficiently long enought to bore even the most loyal of my readers and therefore must sign off from here. Waiting on the guy that makes me a little nutty!!!

Mandy

:(

i hate sunday nights. even if i work at the hospital on sundays, the end of a sunday night signifies the end of the weekend and the start of another long and gruesome week of work.
In other news...
i'll be starting Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte tomorrow on my lunch break. And no matter how much she tries to screw up my plans, I am leaving Emily's house at 6:30 for cooking class.
And i'm finally putting in for vacation time and must go into work tomorrow morning very very early just to talk with lynda about some stuff.
oh well...
missing the man that makes me crazy!!!

exhausted...but happy...and anxious...and exhausted :P

I have worked 60+ hours a week for the past two weeks. Don't let anyone fool you out there, it doesn't get easier as you do it.
Ummmmm no news on the AT&T guy...which is better than bad news i guess.
Went dancing for the first time in months tonight. Had fun...but now i'm keyed up and have to get up in 5 very short hours for a double tomorrow.
waiting to talk to someone on skype. then maybe bed...then 14 hours at the hospital, just to come home, and work daylight sunday...
oh well. such is life.
guess i'll talk to you all later :)

"Excuse me...but is this Alexis?"

Soooooooooooooooooooo my conversation with Mr. At&t went very well. It took him a long time to reply, but when he did he asked if he could call. Of course I was at stinking work but after I clocked out I said he could. About an hour later, he called and we talked for an hour and a half!!!
Turns out, he didn't know who I was until about half way through our phone conversation...and he wasn't necessarily hitting on me...according to him, he gives his number out to practically every one. However, for not knowing each other, we had a very intense conversation. Talked a lot about life and were on like 5th date material at the beginning. It was like i said, intense but refreshing as well. I've met few people whom are that honest from the first "hello". Not that talking about more superficial stuff isn't being honest, but a lot of the time it's just that: superficial.
Anyways, I debated allllllllll day whether I'd text him again, and decided to at around 10:30. I said something along the lines of: Hey listen, i'm not usually this bold, nor have i ever had a more intense, broad convo with a stranger than i did last night, but i'd really like the chance to get to know you better and become friends. If you're not comfortable with that i understand too...
and he replied: can't talk now but it's aight with me LOL...

for your info: i used the word "aight" a lot last night. i was new castle chuchin' it all the way!!!

He's a good guy too...christian and everything...
Sooooooooooooooooooo I don't know where this will go, if it goes anywhere. I am certainly not going to entertain the idea of us dating anywhere in the near future. But I am open to the idea. Annnnd, Lord willing, should Mr. At&t man be willing too...I wouldn't object. :)

That's all for now. I have a 10 hour day ahead of me tomorrow.

Happy valentines day!

days like today make me say "woah"

for starters, i slept in and almost missed breakfast at Mickey D's which is what my employer wanted. Then I realized I locked myself out of my house, and after going to my 2nd job for a grand total of 45 minutes I had to leave because a locksmith was on his way to collect $45 from me for breaking into my house.
After that, i had less than an hour before work at the hospital and therefore decided to get some bills paid. I paid my electric bill and zipped on over to AT&T to pay another large payment on my ridiculous bill.
Now, before i talk about today, I wanted to do some background info about my last trip into the store. Last time i went in, I did my thing but saw one of the customer care guys looking at me. I looked rough, hair in a messy bun, eyebrows needing done, scrubs on (you get the picture). This guy came over to the payment kiosk just as i was about to leave and asked if my bill was pretty consistent. I thought that it was kinda weird but said until then, yes. so he had me go to the counter...asked if i needed to change my plan. etc...(his name's Tony btw). I was on limited time as i had to go to work, so i asked what my options were and then said i'd have to come back the next day to fix everything.
Tony proceeded to give me his card, and scratched off every other number and then added his own (private cell) for me to call later "if i had any questions".
I did nothing about it, but realized i was being hit on by a fairly good looking guy. I thought i saw a ring on his ring finger, left hand. I was sorta looking for it cuz i find him fairly attractive.
Fast Forward to today. I haven't been back in because i was slightly avoiding Tony. I don't know why, except i've really been truly busy and my eyebrows are now worse lol.
He was there, and after paying another $300 on my bill, i asked if he remembered me. He did...we got my plan all squared away, and then he asked if i still had his number. I should have lied and said no, but i didn't. I am dumb sometimes. :)
He then said i should just buy myself an iphone and give whoever it was i was talking to in canada my crappy phone. He was fishing for info. I should have said it was all business or something. I didn't.
Tomorrow, before i lose the opportunity to meet someone who might be interested, I'm going to "fake text" Tony. What does that mean? that simply means i'm going to send him a message "intended" for someone else.
the text will say: "Hey i just got my schedule for next week, and i'm off on Friday! We should hang out"
and when i get asked who i am (let's hope this guy isn't a freak and hasn't memorized my number, although i'm sure he could probably lose his job if he did...lol), i'll reply with a coy "this is mandy montgomery...who is this?"
and when he tells me its himself, i'll say something like, "i'm so sorry, now i feel dumb. I thought your number was my friend Alexis' new number. Oops...well hey, sorry to bother you, but keep in touch if you want..."
sounds pretty perfect to me...if he is in a relationship, and his other happens to see his texts, it's all innocent and an accident. If he's single, it doesn't seem like i'm being too forward, but letting him know communication in the future would be appreciated. and I don't think it's too pushy about getting back to me whatsoever.
As far as i can see, it's fairly fool-proof. If nothing happens, at least i tried. I hope we go out at least once. He seems like a decent guy.

In other news. 2nd job sucks. Hospital is irritating. Haven't read anything in almost a week. I feel my brain cells that were waking up from lack of good stimulation slowly dying.

Excited and nervous about tomorrow's convo :) wish me luck!!!

cant...breathe...

i forgot how much i hate cigarettes. lady i work for, whom i spent my whole day off of the hospital with, smokes like a fiend. making it very difficult for me to breathe. not only that but now my clothes smell like smoke too.
and the only day i'll probably get off at all will be sunday the 20th, if i'm even off from the hospital.
makes me wanna go crazy.
vacation...vacation...vacation...
i think i might go AWOL and not come back. you all are more than welcome to follow me around the world...
lol. i wish. ooooooooh how i so wish.
anyways...i'm probably going to need a breathing treatment tomorrow. if not tomorrow, then certainly friday night. craaaap. friday nights are our busiest. craaaaaaap
maybe i'll have time on saturday then lol.
i'm out. another 15 hour day tomorrow...

long day...

i started work at the hospital at 7 this morning and finished my second job at 9 tonight...which equals almost 14 hours of uninterupted work.
my feet hurt but not as bad as my head...which hurts worse from all the smoke and screaming my client and her daughter do.
i am basically their maid. i did 3 loads of laundry, cooked dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, then baked brownies, gave an insulin shot, and cleaned up again. all while the mother watched tv in her room and the daughter played on facebook.
oh well. i just keep telling myself...vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation.
and to be fair the mother has severe health issues and the daughter is only 12.
but still. the mother nags her daughter constantly and the daughter tunes her out only to be screamed at more. it's a tense situation...
vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation.
:D
i'm bout to hit the shower and go to bed. only to be back at their house at 8 AM and work till i have to leave for the hospital. good thing i will be getting paid every week from here on until i quit. lol
i miss my friends. my life. my apartment lol
maybe i can schedule some time off for my friends. my life. my apartment. lol
vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation. vacation. freakin vacation...

Robinson Crusoe: two thumbs up

I have needed a vacation for so long, and so badly that i decided to read Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe. I read it in the 4th grade, which makes my head spin when i think about the amoung of language i had to re-read or think about as an adult.
Of course i loved it. My biggest problem with it was this: there are no chapters in the book at all. I typically will allow myself to finish a chapter before i go do something, such as back to work or switch the laundry over etc. Without having chapters to go by, i had to do a lot of skimming ahead to find the next change in thought and then read until that point. Of which i would usually bypass and have to start the "end of my reading for the moment" search all over again.
It hasn't totally satiated my desire to get out of this frozen tundra i call home, but it helps me see the benefits of not being stranded on an island :)
I plan on reading the sequels to it (there are 2 written by Defoe) this month as well. I'll be buying those sometime this week :)
I have a friend who asked me how i read so much, and i couldn't tell him. Just that i honestly read everything, including the air-freshener can while i go to the bathroom, my shampoo/conditioner/bodywash in the shower, and my deoderant while getting dressed. I can't stop myself from reading. He can't seem to start himself to it lol.

In other news...Life is good. I start my second job tomorrow. Kind of nervous about that, as i have some plans for behavior modification from my client's daughter...Oh and i'm finally getting my taxes done tomorrow as soon as i finish with my client. Becka leaves on Friday, and i'm hoping to get in one last coffee with her before she goes. maybe wednesday afternoon before church? I guess i don't need a life?
Anyways, i'm out for now. Gotta get up in 5 hours to shower and head off to work :(
Mandy

new job

so. after 5 hours of getting to know a lady by the name of Emily Gramsky, i have decided to take this second job. My duties will include but are not limited to: some housework and cooking, and helping her with duties such as bathing, giving her her insulin shots, taking her to pittsburgh etc.
i wouldn't have taken this job, but God knows i need the money.
i'm not quitting at the hospital either...so for now i'll be working a small 60+ hours a week. or 72...
crap. i just started to have time for a life and be able to see my friends again. suuuuuuck...
oh well...i've already determined what i'll do with the money from this second job once i get AT&T paid off...at least 1/4 of each pay is going into "my" mexican bank account. the rest is my play money...
my hospital pays will pay the bills.
ugh...honestly, if any of you people who read this are teens, don't ever wish to be an adult. We have bills that must be paid, and trust me, that really, really stinks a whole lot worse than high school drama.
anyways, i start monday.
talking to ppl...doing laundry...organizing the dirt to be cleaned first thing in the morning, then to H&R for my taxes...then hopefully to Mich's for "zumba" and then work. then maybe back to Mich's for a get together with Becka before she leaves...
later :)

things that make me go hmmmm...

I couldn't wait to start Robinson Crusoe. Oh well, reading is knowledge and knowledge is power, right?
i have a meeting with a woman who may become my second job. she's very sick and needs help around the house for a few hours a day. i'm not sure i'll commit to this job, but the money is ok, and i really need the money.
men. i hate it when men are more moody than i am. and then they make stupid rules that i have to follow. and one of the rules is: "no asking questions about the other rules". How lame is that? and then those moody men are the ones that always get annoyed when women are moody. talk about hypocrisy.
the inspection sticker is now null and void on my car. so tomorrow, amidst the winter storm "they're" calling for, i will be getting a "lick'em and stick'em" job. why not get it inspected for real? cuz my car wouldn't pass. lol
i need to call Anna, the Italian woman i "adopted" around the holidays. see if she needs her apartment cleaned.
i should be cleaning my place as i will be too busy once i take on this other job. oh well. it's going to have to wait.
at least till morning.
:(
my effort to conserve energy did little by way of reducing my bill. $208 vs $220...at least it didn't go up.
i need to buy laundry detergent. i'm out, and have been for a while now. it's a good thing i've got enough underwear, socks, and scrubs to last me at least a month and a half. lol :D
i really hate winter. just throwing that out there. unless it's at least 85 degrees (farenheit...or about 28 degrees celsius) i'm freezing.
i also really hate gaining weight. i need to resume my "no eating" habit. i was starting to look pretty good...
...besides my eyebrows. they're getting a little out of control. this is the first time since i moved that i have let them get this bad. i need a day for me.
i think that day shall be wednesday night, after youth...bubble bath w/some vino and tweezers...sounds like a freakin awesome time lol...
this post is way too longer, and way too random...i'm out now.
until tomorrow :)

Wuthering Heights...

I have finished my first book of the year. At the beginning of this, i thought i would grow bored with this book. I read it in high school and hated it. I have re-read it and have fallen in love with it. This book is definitely one i will continue reading.
i want to state for the record, that I have in no certain order: loved, loathed, detested, hoped for, had pity on, cherished, and understood Heathcliff.
He has so many qualities that you love to hate, but you can totally understand why he acts the way he does.
I loved Cathy, at the beginning and grew to hate her, especially as she went all nuts-o, but then again, i guess Heathcliff would drive anyone to that point.
i adored Edgar. absolutely adored him. he is the picture of "good husband, good father" most girls want. i also adored Hareton, but pity him more.
Joseph is irritating, and Nelly has her moments. but i really cannot stand Linton or Hareton's dad...

i would highly recommend this to anyone. however, make sure the book you're reading has a good section of "footnotes". i could have easily been lost in Joseph's speech, especially his longer dialogues.
Emily Bronte was pure genius and the world is better for this book. of this i am fully convinced. the world was robbed of her future books thanks to her dying young.

Read it! Better yourselves!! Gain a bigger vocabulary from it!!!

Corinne Bailey Rae - Paris Nights/ New York Mornings

Norah Jones - Chasing Pirates

best song to write to in a long while...the only other song that could compare would be the video below :)

Life:

Repaying my cell bill. It's gotta happen. It's gonna happen. Sucks, but i'm moving on.

In other news: i'm writing my story. it won't be all happy and flowers and hearts and sunshine, but it's mine.

that's all for now.

Oh, and i'm currently addicted to this song from Norah Jones: "Chasing Pirates". It's really great to write to :)

today: really, really sucked.

I found out that my phone bill was almost $1000. sucked isn't quite the word. First i was in hysterics, then i cried...wheezed a little (but not full blown asthma attack), had a massive pity party. Now i'm rejoining the world.
I don't know how much money i'll get back from my income taxes, but i do know that i had plans for that money. Paying off my cell bill wasn't one of them.
I am mad at myself for not thinking about Canada as "international" but considering you don't need to use a country code to call, i assumed it was normal long distance. I assumed wrong. Now i have to pay a lot of money. :(
anyways, making a game plan. i'm out.